"Veins and Thumbtacks"
by
Jonathan Marc Sherman

This play received its world premiere at the Los Angeles Theatre Center (Bill Bushnell, Artistic Director, Diane White, Producing Director), in Los Angeles, California, on February 7, 1991. It was directed by David Saint; the set design was by David Gallo; the costume design was by Marianna Elliot; the lighting was by Kenneth Posner; the sound design was by Jon Gottleib and the stage manager was Nancy Ann Adler.

The Place: New Jersey

The Time: 1978-1989

JIMMY I'm gonna take an axe, Grandma, I'm gonna chop into your neck. I'm gonna chop till your head falls off, and I'm gonna reach into your neck and start pulling out the veins, one by one, I'm gonnna pull out the veins from your wrinkle of a neck, I'm gonna get some thumbtacks, and I'm gonna tack your veins to the walls. I'm gonna fill the walls up with your dripping veins. GRANDMOTHER F*ck you, Jimmy. JIMMY F*ck me? F*ck you. Alright? F*ck you. Put on your bifocals and read my lips: F*ck you. GRANDMOTHER Big man. Big talker.

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CAST
(in alphabetical order)

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ANNIE

Elizabeth Berridge
(seen here in When the Party's Over, filmed around the same time, also starring Fisher Stevens, coincidentally.)
Most famous for her role as Constanza, Mozart's wife in "Amadeus," Elizabeth plays Annie, Jimmy's teenage bride, and mother of their child, Wendy.
Elizabeth Berridge Page

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ARTURO CONSTANTINI

Bruce MacVittie
(seen here in Homicide: Life on the street--"Subway") Bruce is Arturo, Jimmy's vapid co-worker at the supermarket, and the mindless "constant" in his life. He never seems to get around seeing his friend's stand-up act over the course of 10 years.
Bruce has appeared with Noelle before: in "The Whoopee Boys", in 1985 (if you consider that a joint appearance!).
He also co-starred with Noelle's brother Corey in EST's The Bloodletters in 1984.

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GRANDMOTHER

Beatrice Manley
(Seen here in a 1993 film "Grief", as an actress on a cable tv melodrama)
She raised Jimmy since a childhood, when his parents died. Currently bound to a wheelchair, she is supported financially by Jimmy, who regards her as one his many shackles. Offstage, she likes to pour his beer down the drain to cut down on his drinking.
This veteran of the stage has written a memoir recently, My Breath in Art. You can read her own description of it here at amazon.com.

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CHAPEL OWNER, DIVORCE GUY, CALLER

William Marquez
(seen here in The Mask of Zorro) A character actor since the days of Charlie's Angels, William plays the man who gives Jimmy and Annie a quicky wedding in Las Vegas though still not quick enough for Jimmy); later, as a Mexican government official, grants them a quicky divorce (in a language Jimmy can't understand). Finally, he's a listener of Jimmy's public access show, The Amerian Dream, who calls in to harangue him (which Jimmy rather seems to enjoy).

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WENDY BONAPARTE

Mercedes Mcnab
(seen here in Buffy The Vampire Slayer at age 18--a more age-appropriate photo here as soon as I find one)
Though Wendy's mother is a bad catholic, she draws the line at abortion. Wendy is named by her father, after the Peter Pan character, who takes care of the Lost Boys (perhaps he thinks he'll need taking care of one day, like his grandmother). Annie hates this name, not forgetting his previous girlfriend, Wendy Diesel. Jimmy stands his ground regardless of her feelings, announcing he'll call his daughter whatever he likes, no matter what her given name.
Mercedes as Wendy does not appear until the very last scene, calling out to her father after he's finally run out of things to say.
(Mercedes is a semi-regular on Buffy and Angel and an internet babe on the rise, so websites are too fluid to link right now).

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NURSE

(seen here in thirtysomething, "Melissa and Men", filmed around the same time as this play)
Noelle Parker
Noelle plays two characters in this play:
The first time she appears as the nurse who presents Wendy to her parents. Eighteen-year-old Jimmy is taken aback to see his daughter up close; he thought they would keep her behind glass for awhile. Since he's drunk, there is quite a scene, but nothing phases her professional demeanor: "That's okay. I'm a nurse."
Just like in the picture above, the nurse wears glasses, no doubt to distinguish her character from:

TRALICE


(from the same episode as above)
Noelle Parker
an eighteen-year-old fun-loving waitress who works at the Laugh Riot. "I really liked the Leave it to Beaver jokes. They were funny. I--that's a funny thing to make fun of." Jimmy asks her about her name. It turns out, her naming seems like just another quirk of fate, the kind he's familiar with: "When my mother was pregnant with me, a man named Tommy Reilly helped her change a flat tire. She said she'd name me Thomas if I were a boy and T.R. Alice if I were a girl, since she was set on Alice for a girl. So I was a girl, and it was Alice with a T.R. tacked on the front to honor Tommy Reilly. Kind of stupid."
Seems like his kind of girl, except Tralice is not as trapped by her circumstances as he first thought. She has a plan for her life, which leaves him behind once again.

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JAMES OSWALD BONAPARTE

Fisher Stevens
(seen above in The Marrying Man, around the same time as this play)
"I'm Jimmy Bonaparte, and ice cream runs through my veins."
So goes the intro for his opening act at the Laugh Riot's Amateur Night, every other week for ten years. He thinks he's better than the pros he observes (he describes himself as "young, fresh, angry"), but he never goes professional himself, because he isn't really funny. He has a comedian's patter but his anger swallows the punchlines. The only succesful jokes he tells are off-stage, as he combats the non-stop disappointments in his life. But nobody laughs there either. He tries writing a film-noir story, about a detective and a blond with a big chest, but the blond just turns out to be his ex-wife Annie (see picture below) who mocks him in his dreams. He hosts a show on Public Access cable tv, which no one watches either. As his surroundings deteriorate and his relationships wither away while he pursues his hazy fantasies, he sees himself as the American Dream incarnate. He just might be.

Fisher Stevens is best known for his role as Chuck Fishman on Early Edition, on which Noelle has also appeared (though not at the same time).
Fisher Stevens Page

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'Veins':Savage but Worthwhile • The expletives in this comedy by Jonathon March Sherman won't faze LATC regulars, but its assaultiveness makes you sit up and listen. ------------------------------------------ By Syvie Drake TIMES THEATER WRITER For the most part, "Veins and Thumbtacks," at the Los Angeles Theatre Center, is unquotable. Too many expletives to be deleted. This neither fazes LATC habitués nor convinces those who habitually stay away to come any closer. So, situation normal. But this savage new comedy by Jonathon Marc Sherman has the kind of in-character assaultiveness that makes you sit up and listen. Remember Steven Berkoff's "Kvetch," at the Odyssey where people say one thing then let us hear what they really mean? Direct comparisons don't apply, but "Veins and Thumbtacks" has that same compulsion to shortcut the amenities and get on with the truth. Eighteen-year-old Jimmy Bonaparte (Fisher Stevens) is a New Jersey kid with a big mouth and a crippled grandmother. He's having a helluva time trying to enjoy growing up. His parents died when he was a tot; his grandmother who raised him (Beatrice Manley) needs to be looked after; he works at the supermarket while he goes to school. And now his girlfriend Annie (Elizabeth Berridge) tells him that she's pregnant. Jimmy's Jewish and Annie's Catholic. Wedding bells start peeling in Las Vegas where Jimmy flatly refuses to kiss the bride. It's marriage, baby and divorce. Down the tubes once more goes the American Dream. This is not "Leave It to Beaver." But what's different about the 24-year-old Sherman's story is its surprising quotient of compassion. Through the messes, laughter and vituperation, we spot the causes of Jimmy's defeat. This is a little boy lost, stuck with too much baggage he's not equipped to handle--especially not his portion of that other four-letter word: love. It's etched in acid everywhere he looks. And never having had much he's not good at receiving or giving it away. Jimmy goes in for predictable I-wanna-bes: He tries to become a stand-up comic, write a sexy whodunit, make it on TV--anything to break free, find himself, get away from his zombie pal Arturo (Bruce MacVittie in a deceptively fine cameo) at the supermarket, get away from the supermarket and those encroaching cans of Campbell's Tomato Soup. Slob though he is, foul-mouthed though he is, we learn to like Jimmy, which attests to playwright Sherman's singular achievement and to actor Steven's ability to convey this screw-up's complexity. Behind the caricature and the barrage of insults is a real person. Halfway decent at that. There is also a pretty good person in Berridge's patient Annie and in that sturdy, non-loquacious grandmother, played by Manley with a kind of stoic wisdom. She knows this boy best and she can withstand him. The end of this comedy will have you in tears. David Gallo's surrealistic room, Kenneth Posner's extra-sudden blackouts and Jon Gottlieb's sound (every blackout is bridged by a galloping rush of music ending in a gunshot) contribute in specific ways to the wallop of the production. One must credit director David Saint, who staged the equally urgent "Once in Doubt" at the Cast Theatre and LATC in 1989, for avoiding sentimentality (a real danger at certain points) and catapulting these carefully orchestrated elements into a cohesive whole. Those chilling gunshot blasts suggest the unspoken option of suicide; the sickly green of the room telegraphs a sense of suffocation. The result is mounting anxiety that we're sucked into and share with the beleagured Jimmy. Not everyone may be willing to dive under the tidal wave of insults to get at Jimmy's moth-eaten heart, but the battering is worth the prize. Sherman has a "young, fresh, angry" voice", much like Jimmy--and a lot more talent. You may want to hang him up by his veins with thumbtacks for the way he talks, but you wouldn't want to shut him up. This is one foul-mouthed 24-year-old we want to hear more from. •"Veins and Thumbtacks," Los Angeles Theatre Center, 514 S. Spring St. Tuesdays-Sundays, 8 p.m.; matinees, Saturdays-Sundays, 2 p.m. Ends March 24. $22-$27; Running time: 1 hour, 40 minutes.

This play is currently in print and available at amazon.com:
Veins and Thumbtacks
It was also adapted into a feature film by Frank Whalley starring Ethan Hawke and Carla Gugino in the lead roles. I don't see a listing for Noelle's character, Tralice, but with the film's larger cast, they may have taken a cue from her combined name and split her up into several smaller roles.

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