Clerks

Tower
Cliff is in hysterics. This will jeapardize his position at the law firm. He'll end up just like Dante! The cop grabs Cliff, who suddenly points the finger at Dante and blames him for everything. See, Dante says to Veronica, I told you he's a narc!
Veronica and Dante
Of course he is, Veronica screams. You think I'm an idiot? It's obvious!
She explains she's not attracted to Cliff; she's just fed up with Dante's immature behavior.
Just as the cop is putting the cuffs on Cliff, Dante tells him it was all his idea and Cliff is innocent. Veronica looks impressed with this act of self-sacrifice.
Veronica and Dante
In the back seat of the squad car, Veronica is still fuming, but she's not going to break up with Dante because of this.
Why not, he wonders.
Veronica and Dante
"Because I saws a glimmer of hope tonight."
Dante announces he's going to get a job working for an insurance company, because "being mature means never having to say you're happy."
Veronica
Veronica nixes that idea, because "I want you to work harder at being you--because, you know, I like, love you."
Dante: "Well, you know, that too."
Cop
The cop, who's been listening to all this, gets overwhelmed with emotion and stops the car. He tells them to get out before he changes his mind. In the background, Veronica is grinning widely, perhaps indicating she was aware the cop was listening the whole time.
Veronica and gang
They go back and finish their date, only instead of watching the rest of "Little Women", they're viewing the security camera tape to see what went on at the store while Dante was absent that evening.
Ray
It turns out Ray (Elfman) the shoplifter had pretty much cleaned out the store, remembering to block the camera only as he was leaving.

Personally, I think Dante should have taken that job at the insurance company. It sounds like a great sitcom!

Epilogue
After "Clerks" the movie, Kevin Smith began a comic book devoted to the film's characters, and in 1999, he expressed interest to the UPN network in an animated version of it, based on "The Simpsons" format: a social satire that would be acceptable to a mainstream television audience. UPN was ecstatic, but faced competition from ABC, which was by now part of the Disney corporation. Their tv production arm, Touchstone, made an offer Smith couldn't refuse: a major network would broadcast his show in primetime, produced by Miramax/Touchstone, the group that produced "Clerks" the movie, and which, supposedly, would have an affinity for the material. Plus, the pilot would air right after the Super Bowl in January 2000, giving its ratings a major-league kick-off. And last, but not least, the budget would be huge. Each episode would cost many times what the original movie did. Unfortunately, a company with that much money and power doesn't really need a show like that. If it even seems like it's going to fail, they can afford to bury it and come up with any number of replacements at a moment's notice. Smith already had difficulty with Disney because of his controversial religious movie "Dogma", but perhaps figured he would be given the benefit of the doubt with "Clerks: The Animated Series" because of Disney's previous failed attempt at duplicating his humor with this live-action pilot. The show was pulled from its initial premier in early March 2000, to sometime in May, which by then everyone who had seen the highly-rated Super Bowl pilot had already forgotten about it. Though it was cleverly written, for some reason ABC no longer had any enthusiasm for the project, and let it die on the vine, finally pulling it off the air before its full run of six episodes. Interestingly, the third episode was titled by Smith "The Lost Pilot", consisting of scenes from a previous show that never actually existed. So, it's possible in some fashion that this 1995 pilot had an impact on television history, even though it never aired itself.
Here's what happened to the "Clerks" pilot alumni:
Andrew Lowery (Dante) teamed up with screenwriting partner Andrew Miller and wrote the feature films "Simon Sez" and "Boys and Girls". Their official website is here.

Jim Breuer (Randal) joined Saturday Night Live a few months later and for several years he created characters like Goatboy and performed regular skits like "The Joe Pesci Show". One of his fansites is here.

Rick Gomez (Todd) went on to star in Tom Hanks' ensemble WWII mini-series "Band of Brothers" (September 2001).

Noelle Parker (Veronica) was immediately cast as a regular to succeed Ashley Judd on NBC's "Sisters".

Keri Russell (Sandra) would be cast in the lead role of "Felicity".

Andre Nemec (Cliff) would also partner up with a screenwriter and write for shows like "Early Edition" (though not the one Noelle was in)

Jack Plotnick (Cop) would go on to many character roles, including the effeminate interviewer who stripped for Ian McKellan in "Gods and Monsters".
Bodhi Elfman (Ray), nephew of film composer (and Oingo Boingo lead singer) Danny Elfman, would immediately go on to marry Jenna Elfman (who had a different last name before that, of course!). Jenna would go on to star in the hit situation comedy "Dharma and Greg"! (Ain't life grand?)

For the record, here's the credits:

Andrew Lowery . . . . . . . . . . Dante
Jim Breuer . . . . . . . . . . Randal
Rick Gomez . . . . . . . . . . Todd
Noelle Parker . . . . . . . . . . Veronica

Also Starring:

Keri Russell . . . . . . . . . . Sandra
Bodhi Elfman . . . . . . . . . . Ray
Andre Nemec . . . . . . . . . . Cliff
Jack Plotnick . . . . . . . . . . Cop
Larry Brandenburg
Tony Lopresti

Executive Producer . . . . . . . . . . Gary Woods
Produced by . . . . . . . . . . Mark Grossan
Written by . . . . . . . . . . Richard Day
Directed by . . . . . . . . . . Michael Lessac
Executive Producer . . . . . . . . . . Nat Mauldin
Executive Producer . . . . . . . . . . Richard Day



EPILOGUE: "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back"

"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" (2001) was the final film in the "Clerks" series. They confront Hollywood's sinister power to reduce everything to crap. They try to stop a feature film based on their comic book counterparts more out of embarrassment than any profit motive: they can't stand all the criticism they're getting from people like themselves on the internet (which they encounter on a film gossip site, "Movie Poop Shoot", now a Kevin Smith-sponsored site in real life).

Along the way they find themselves used as media props by a pack of beautiful jewel thieves, posing as wholesome midwestern girls. Once on the movie set, they find themselves wielding light sabers as though they're the stars of the "Holy Trinity" (i.e. their beloved "Star Wars" films), and end up on stage with the band. They don't stop the movie being released, but they do fulfill an even bigger wish: to pummell all their critics on the internet, as they visit them one by one.

So there's some mixed feelings expressed here about Hollywood, its antithesis in "real" America, and its hypercritical audience. Silent Bob himself is almost a stand-in for the director (who plays the character himself), stripped of his directorial powers. He has no voice or separate will, it seems, until the time comes to express the movie's theme, as in "Chasing Amy", or realizing his wish to be an entertainer (being a dancer in "Chasing Amy", and playing as a Jedi in the final film--his traditional black outfit evokes the Jedi uniform worn by Mark Hamill, who also appears). Jay himself seems to have an unusual relationship with pop culture. He despises his comic book alter-ego, even though it's made him a cult hero. But he loves quoting from re-runs of "Alice", a formulaic 70s sitcom (based on the critically-acclaimed movie, "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore", directed by Martin Scorsese), and gets a vicarious pleasure from quoting Flo: "Kiss my grits!"

Though these two characters are presented as dimwits, I'm not sure we're not supposed to share their conflicted views towards Hollywood. If they like something, it makes no difference whether they're supposed to like it or not, whether it's appropriate or not. They pursue it anyway. That's the real message, it seems, of "Chasing Amy", and a bitter lesson learned by its lead, played by Ben Affleck. His character also re-appears in the final film, mocking the film, and the audience itself for paying attention to it. Affleck's "Project Greenlight" is an extension of this wish to invite audiences to look past such instant judgements, and appreciate the process over the final product. After all, the HBO mini-series seems to be saying, the final product can't be trusted to deliver, overseen as it is by people who may not be the most qualified. So look to the professionals on the set, and see what they must contend with.

In conclusion, I agree with Kevin Smith fans who feel this project was misconceived. On the other hand, the cast itself was far livelier than their counterparts in the original feature film. The studio should have consulted with Smith, and maybe they'd have had something that could be network-suitable. Who knows, it might even have been another "Alice"!



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